I today sent the following reply back to Ms Kingston:



Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your swift and delightful response.

Alas, I cannot pass on my daytime contact number as I am unable to use a phone. However, I am happy to clarify my request: I am simply trying to find which pupil is 'hardest' - that is, the king of the playground.
I trust this clears the matter up.

Yours,

Norbert Young